"It is time."

Here we are.

It's 4:45 am and I cannot sleep. Now, that might be due to the excitement, you say? True. True. But also, Mr. Sandman visited the other night, leaving no fancy, magical dream dust, but instead, I inhaled all that stupid fairy sand dust. And now, I have, that's right, the dreaded sandpaper throat.

I haven't been sick in months and two days ago..well, simply, I done went and got myself sick. I had been feeling it for a while and I s'pose now is better than in the air or once we arrive. I can say by now, thankfully, it is on its way out!

And not getting any sleep might not be so bad. In a litte over 15 hours, I will find myself in a plane, heading over the ocean for some 20 hours. And spending most of that time sleeping is very much a plan of both of ours. For today, exhaustion is A-OK with me.

And hody sit! (an appropriate-ish saying of us Gaude ladies) I'm doing this! We are actually doing this! AHH! Good lordy lordy, the day is here. On Lafayette time, by the end of Friday night, Chanel and I will be in Kathmandu.

We've packed, repacked, planned, plan-B'ed, plan-C'ed, worked on our already excellent talking-with-our-eyes and mumbling-in-only-ways-she-would-understand skills. They really are quite good. But! We can always be better. Have done much more questioning and thinking out loud, both to ourself and each other. But how many shoes are you bringing? Should I bring one more? But hear my justification. Why are you bringing so many shorts? That's ridiculous. Will there be coffee?? I should bring more shorts. Ill call this bag "bag" and the other "pack" so there is no confusion. Which bag? Yes, I know, BUT WHICH??

All that is done. Two more errands. Only a few more goodbyes. I'd bet on two more cups of coffee. And three planes to catch.

I hope to be able to make our first trip to the nearest town with Internet access (a 30 minutes walk) within the first week. We do have a day to ourselves before we start the volunteering program, so perhaps then.
Well, I've got some waffles to make, malaria medicine to take, and I'm feeling the old-man, wheezy cough setting in.

Goodbye friends, family, loves, bed, hazelnut coffee, iPhone, clean drinking water, gluten-free beer and goodbye America.

And Mr. Bruno. Goodbye Mr. Monkey. (Our most handsomest pug man)

"It is time." Rafiki said it best.

Next blog will be from Southeast Asia. SHABLAM!

9 Days

The post "Clarity" I wrote a few days ago. And even since, my feelings have changed.

For now, for today, I feel ready. I'm ready to know every face of every child at the orphanage. I'm ready to see what the orphanage looks like. What the sleeping situation is. What the countryside smells like. What kind of view will we have of the sunset? And what colors will it have? As my love questioned, will I be able to tell I am across the world from the differences in the night sky? Do I know my home sky that well?

The questions just keep on a'coming and I'm ready for them to stop doing that. Just go on and stop it. At least give a girl somewhat of a better question-to-answer ratio.

For most of the tick-tocking since I was told about our trip, I've had stuff going on. School thangs. Errands. Responsibilities. Obligations. Dare I say, duties. I've had more to do than time to do it in. And now..we'll now I'm just getting kind of bored. I've run out of things to prepare for the trip. But Chanel has now worked her last day and I have her to be in boredom with! Ha-ha!

I will miss so much. I mean that I will feel much longing in the absence of those I love. I will take pictures and hope they do as much justice as they can. I will "I just wish he could see this" and "She would love love love this". There will be many of those.

But this is the starting of something for me. Whether it gives me hints of my future or is just a really kick ass adventure to talk about for years and years to come. Whether it changes the course of my life or just the course of my mind. Whether we affect others more or if we are the ones never the same or both. This is a once in a lifetime time of my life. I will forever remember. I will forever love. I will forever be thankful for everything that was done for and by Chanel and I.

Ahhhh!!!!!!

Clarity

It's a qa-winky-dink. Chanel is listening to music as we both hangout in the kitchen. John Mayer came on and as I opened this post to compose it..."It just can't. It's not supposed to." Speaking of the manner of clarity.

Even though I keep saying it hasn't fully hit me yet because that is how I feel...I'm starting to find that my mind, I think (ha), may be preparing behind my back. In the back alley, down a ways and behind the creepy dumpster of my mind. Regardless of how I feel about leaving in two weeks, emotionally feel, consciously feel, I guess my brain is building its defenses for me. Maybe it knows that I'm not going to be fully ready until my butt is fully planted on an airplane seat over the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. I guess if there is any part of me that should be smarter and quicker-to-catch-on than the rest of me...that big, squishy organ would be it.

I spend (am spending) most of these days running errands and picking up things that Chanel and I will need. But I am just following a list. I'm not thinking for myself in a way. I am removed from the trip by a few steps. I read the list. I get what is on it. And the next day, I pick up where I left off. So everyday I am getting closer to the trip but realizing it no less.

But I have, with much increasing frequency, been finding myself...thoughtful. Full of thought. I tend to see the world through my head, so there is a natural amount of thoughtfulness but this is more than that. And I have been trying to recognize it. To name it. Is it fear? Anxiety? Excitement? Preparation for my gargantuan-mountainous alone time? I'll ask again, fear? I feel this turning inward. Like my mind is a sock, fresh from the dryer being turned inside of itself. I don't even know how many people do that to their socks but I do and so I hope it makes sense.

And I don't have an answer yet. Maybe more thinking is needed. Maybe more talking. Maybe I am not to discover the identity of this. Maybe just more time. I'll give it more time.

Happy

Thank you all. They may be simple but they are the only words I am equipped with at this moment. I am so happy.

Thank ya much friends!

Here is a shout out and thank you to all of our family, friends, and loved-ones that joined us at our Bon Voyage BBQ Bash!

• Katelynn Buller
• Katie May
• J.P. Lopez
• Jay Dugas
• Ashely Jankower
• Chelsea Yeager
• Kaitlin Montero
• Sara Yeager
• Tammy L Yeager
• Courtney Russo
• Anthony "Wales" Arabie
• Kevin Buller
• Jeremy and Brandy Lopez
• Andre Albrecht
• Ariel Morris
• Rob and Megan Fairley
• Emily Hoag
• Karl Gorstner (Sorry if that is misspelled, man. Your handwriting is wack. Much love.)
• Cassie Viator
• J-cab Gibson
• Grant Cavalier
• Regan Wade
• Tonia and Jason Lopez
• Hannah Adams
• Natalie Giampola
• Granny and Poppy Lopez
• Simon Broussard
• Mike Hebert
• Danielle Olson
• William "Billyslacks" Early
• Renee "Renayzee" Granger
• Brandon "B" Taylor
• Stephanie "Wildflower" Juneau
• Lilianna Bahktiari
• Dadi and Roz
• Momma and Ruud
• Chris Barron

And thank you to all those that came and didn't sign in as well!!

Also, thank you to my dear, dear friends Emily, Tammy, and David Allen. I miss you three (Four, including Sir Pants Allen) and your home! You always opened it up to me and welcomed me with hugs. I love you all. Emily..you are so close to me. I will always, always think of you and our time together with fondness. You were a blessing to have by my side for those years. And I hope for many more to come. I love you. I love your mind. And I love your friendship. Thank you.

Emily Lalande...I (we) adore the life out of you.  I am so glad that I went to The Bulldog that night all those months ago and happened across your sweet soul! Thank you for your support and all those empowering words. I hope for more hangout time with you when we return. All of our love to you.

Thank you Sarah and Adam Lopez! Thank you for your donation and support and for being so nice to my Nellie :)